By Lien Duke

Shelby Christmas is not your typical Southern Belle. Originally from Mississippi, she’s lived in New Orleans since she was nine. She’s twenty-four years old, stands at 5’5”, and has hair dyed dark with hints of fading green and blue. She tends to wear black or other dark colors and is never without a pair of heeled black boots on her feet. Shelby is feisty and outgoing, working at both college bars around Tulane and a boutique clothing store on Magazine Street, where she’s constantly conversing with someone. She tried being a typical sorority college girl at UNO for a few years, but it wasn’t for her. Christmas has never felt the need to fit into ordinary Southern society and defies standards by living a unique life.

In December of this year, Shelby is getting married to her boyfriend of six years, Chandler. He proposed to her with a custom-made Claddagh ring, with a diamond heart in the middle held by two skeleton hands. Her last name is Christmas, but her absolute favorite holiday is Halloween. The wedding colors are black, red, and “light gold,” as Shelby says. It will take place at the Champagne Palace, where she will stand at the altar in a simple white wedding gown with her twelve bridesmaids. “For the reception, I’m changing into a short black dress, with a black veil and black pumps. And I think I’m going to cut my hair off in between the ceremony and the reception. I’m gonna chop it,” she says excitedly as she labels earrings at the boutique’s counter. She seems to vibrate with excitement while talking about her future wedding.

Even though she has twelve bridesmaids, there is only one girl whom Shelby has an extraordinary relationship with. Miranda, who is one year older than Shelby, is also from New Orleans. The two went to the same high school and UNO but were never friends. “I was doing everything; I did student council, cheerleading, powerlifting… she was like, did nothing, she was quiet, and she was into church”. The pair were in opposing sororities at UNO and, “really didn’t like each other at first,” she says. While the two girls seem to have nothing in common, they have one strong tie connecting them: Miranda is engaged to Chandler’s brother, Colby. 

At first, their resistance to each other strained Shelby’s relationship with Chandler and Chandler’s relationship with his brother. Eventually, the two reconciled and realized how much they liked each other. “Now I look at her as a sister, and I’m gonna get her as a sister,” Shelby says. Their sisterhood has made them incredibly close, leading them to work at the same boutique. This year, the two couples decided to move in together. “Some people say: ‘Y’all are weird for that.’ But we don’t give a shit. We are just trying to save money, and it’s a party every day”. While they are all young people, they have found themselves in the position where they have found their family and are sticking to them for the rest of their lives. The two girls get to marry the loves of their lives and have sealed their fate as best friends. 

In most of America, getting married at only twenty-four and twenty-five is unheard of. But, it is commonplace in New Orleans and other parts of the Deep South. “Most of my friends from high school, like, are already on their third kid,” Shelby explains, “I was one of the last ones, really.” In New Orleans, people often forgo seeking higher education and instead start a family at a very young age. The Southern United States is greatly influenced by Christianity, which teaches the importance of family and opposition toward premarital sex. While these beliefs may seem outdated to most, they have an apparent lasting effect on communities like New Orleans. “I really was in the minority in choosing to go to college,” she says, “Even if he had proposed to me while I was in school, I would have waited to get married until after I graduated.” 

Not only does Shelby have views of marriage that disagree with those of Southern society, but she sets herself apart from the typical Southern Belle. According to the University of Richmond, a Southern Belle is a girl who is innocent and ladylike yet flirtatious and beautiful. Shelby does not play into the belief that women need to hold themselves with grace and charm even if it pains them. “Most Southern girls want to be perfect… they are raised to be these perfect girls that say ‘Yes, Ma’am’ and ‘No, Sir’ and is, like, supposed to have a smile on her face at all times,” she says. “But, I’m just not like that. I let my emotions show on my face. I can’t hide them. I just don’t care”. In addition to her personality, Shelby defies the Southern standard in her chosen aesthetic of darker colors and fun-colored hair. What sets her apart is not her daringness to be different but how naturally being different comes to her. She’s not trying to make a statement or upset anyone; she is simply and unapologetically herself. 

Shelby, Miranda, Chandler, and Colby have found themselves in an extraordinary situation of being a combination of God-given and chosen family. The couples plan to have children at the same time and raise them as both best friends and cousins. “It doesn’t really happen here; everyone kind of [has a family] on their own, but I feel like we have a mini army coming,” she says. Instead of worrying about how they might be perceived, they have released themselves from all outside pressures and simply live their lives together. Despite their situation being different from everyone else’s, their lives are perfect for them.“Nobody would have it any other way.”